The pain lay just on the edge of sufferable and overpowering, she would later tell me. Sweat dripped from her hair and skin, and blood-mixed-with-water covered parts of the floor. I stood completely helpless and insufficient behind a pane of glass, only watching.
The complications had begun 10 hours in when she started to lose what the doctors said was “too much blood.” It seemed like an understatement.
I was rushed out and told to wait outside. I’ve never been good at waiting. Like most things in life it was good thing and a bad thing that Amelia forced me to quit smoking as soon as she became pregnant. Good because we both needed to keep our health with a baby on the way, but also because standing outside that hospital room waiting to hear what was going on with my baby and my baby I would have exhausted through a pack-and-a-half.
Bad because I really needed a cigarette.